True Friendship

 I've been thinking a bit about true friendship.  A good friendship is a blessing and brings strength in life but what does that kind of friendship look like?  How does the world define it and how does the WORD define it?

 

Our world sure has twisted and messed this up. Even down to grade school peers can pressure one another to turn on a friend simply because of what they are wearing, if they are socially “unacceptable” or if they don't act exactly how others think they should act. Many comply so that they will not be rejected themselves.


Once you hit junior high and high school it can be even worse. Teens can be cruel if they let themselves be. One minute they are friends and the next they are turning and gossiping to others about the same friend. Or they may simply back off friendships because others pressure them to do so and they want to be accepted. Years ago one of our kids experienced this type of rejection and it was incredibly painful and hard on their heart. Oh how hard it was on this mama's heart as well as I watched it happen. It happened to me before and I know how painful it is.  Even though it was painful, the good outcome was that my child learned the importance of loyalty in friendship through their own pain and so did I!


Those same attitudes can easily be carried into adult friendships. A group of ladies can turn and gossip or reject another without realizing that same group could turn and do the same thing to them. Many times people cut others down to build themselves up. Sometimes it is remaining silent while others speak unkind words about friends.  Other times it is sharing personal information with others in the guise of "helping" another spiritually.


None of these actions model true friendship. Loyalty is of utmost importance in a true friendship. I remember someone telling me years ago that they spoke to a friend about another friends objectionable actions. Rather than gossiping about her friend, the lady wisely responded, “Ann is my friend.” That shut the conversation right down and the accuser was instantly repentant in her heart. I love it! Even though she likely agreed about the friend's actions, she protected that friendship. She realized that none of us are perfect in our actions so we must extend grace, love our friends well, and fiercely protect our friendships. That is what true friendship looks like.


The Word says that “a friend loves at all times."  That includes when another falls.  It especially includes when others turn on that friend.  It means keeping intimate information to yourself rather than sharing it with others.  It means you stand with them in the best of times and in the worst of times no matter how hard it gets or how long that walk takes. It means being steadfast even if others encourage you to walk away.  It means staying constant and not wishy-washy in your friendship.  It means being the type of friend you want others to be to you. 


The word has much to say about what friendship looks like and what kind of friends to have.  Here are just a few examples.


*Be loyal and devoted.

 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10

 

* Build Others up

 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11


* Be Christlike

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

 

*Do not gossip

A perverse person spreads strife, and a slanderer separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28 

 

*Keep away from bad "friends"

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33 

 

* Surround yourself with godly friends and be that type of friend

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; 10 for if [b]either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not [c]another to lift him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

One who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm.   Proverbs 13:20

 

*Be a friend who is willing to speak truth in love and surround yourself with friends who are willing to do the same

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and a person’s advice is sweet to his friend. Proverbs 27:9

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and a person’s advice is sweet to his friend.Proverbs 27:5-6, 9


*Love deeply at all times

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17


Is this the kind of friend you are?  I encourage you do let the Lord shine a bright light into your relationships and into your heart today.  Be this type of friend.  What a blessing you will be to those friends and how you will stand out and shine to the world. 


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