Open Hands. Surrendered Heart.

 "The sweetest sound, the highest praise,

Is the letting go of this life You gave.
Our greatest prayer, an act of faith,
Is an open hand; Lord have Your way.
Take it all - every hope, every dream, every plan.
Take it all - every weight, all the shame and brokenness.
Jesus, I surrender all - every victory and loss
Take it all, take it all 'till all I have is open hands."
"I'm not afraid of what I'll lose. My greatest joy is finding you, finding you."
 
It's so easy to sing along with this song by Laura Story and Mac Powell. But what about actually following through in your heart? Offering everything to God with open hands. 
 
Recently, I was challenged in this area. An opportunity came up that would drastically change our lives. Everything about it was good and appealing and in all honesty, would fulfill a dream in some ways. As Tim and I talked and prayed, we concluded that we should take the first step with this opportunity and see what God would do. So, we did. 
 
Now, I need to tell you where I was at that point. I was willing to say yes to the first step. I was NOT ready or willing to take any steps beyond that, no matter how good it was. I wrestled with God in my heart. Tim and I prayed. I asked a friend to pray for my heart. I asked God to help my heart be willing to do whatever He asked us to do. However, I wasn't willing to give up my house, my extended family, my church, my friends, or my life here. Many tears were shed. There were deep conversations with God.  It came down to wrestling with God amidst the tears one day alone in my van in Walmart parking lot. I argued that the timing and logistics would be terrible. I argued that it was just giving up too much. I argued that we needed to be right where we were at. I continued to ask God to help my heart be willing, no matter what, but I was not willing.
 
Then, it came. I realized I was holding on to MY dreams and hopes. I was holding on way too tight, not willing to let them go. Ouch! When did THAT happen? I didn't even realize it until that moment. I realized I wasn't just holding on, I was also afraid of letting go! Afraid of what I might lose. After wrestling with God the better part of a week, my heart finally gave in. My hands were raised. They were no longer clinched tight. They were open. I was able to let everything go... my house, my extended family, my church, my friends, and my life here. I let Him have them all once again. My hands were raised, open, empty. My heart was saying, "I will follow you, Lord, no matter what." 
 
Was I full of joy and excitement at that moment? No, I wasn't. I was still fully aware of what might lie ahead. It hurt my heart to think about it. At the same time, I was peaceful. I knew that God would do what was absolutely best for our family and ultimately for His Kingdom because He is trustworthy!
 
Well, guess what happened the next DAY? We got our answer. The answer was no! We are staying put. God is not taking us on a new adventure. We get to continue on in the one we are living right now. (Boy was I glad my heart gave in BEFORE the answer came!) 
 
So, knowing that the answer was no, were all my tears and prayers and struggles in vain? Absolutely not! God knew my heart was holding on too tight to the things of this world. He knew I needed some refining and a bit of attitude adjustment. He knew I needed to step back and be reminded what this life is all about. I am grateful. What a good, good God!
 
So friend, it's your turn. Think about it. What is it that you are holding on to? What is it that is hard to let go of? What do you need to give back to God? Your... Job? Home? Spouse? Children? Friends? Habits? Possessions? Health? Life itself? Chances are, something (or many things) came to mind. I hope you will take time with God and ask Him what you are holding on to. If so, ask Him to help you be willing to open up your hands and let Him have what's there. After all, it all belongs to Him anyway. Let Him take it, friend. "Every hope, every dream, every plan." No fears. He is trustworthy!
 
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord And whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8
 
Let me hear Your loving kindness in the morning; For I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to You I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8
 
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” Psalm 91:1-2
 
As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the Lord is tested; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. II Samuel 22:31
 
(From May 2017)

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